Meds

THinking about cutting down on my psych drugs as some of them have long term side effects. I take Effexor, Wellbutrin, Abilify, Clonazepam,Topomax and Trazadone. That seems like a lot. I can't get off the effexor because the withdrawels are awful, shocking sensations, vision disturbances, feeling horrible/suicidal, etc... I just can't go through it again. I'd like to do without the abilify. If anyoone is reading this what do you think?

January

Hey I love my new job. I really feel like I'm helping people. I'm excited to be a part of Project Homeless Connect here in Lane Co. I will be working a booth there. It is awesome, the homeless can come get haircuts, clothes, food, resources, etc...It is held in the county fairgrounds. There should be a few hundred at least, people that is.

It snowed, in the Willamette Valley! Schools were closed and everything but I went to work and am glad I did. Many people came in looking for a hot cup of coffee and I was happy to oblige.

What has been on my mind lately is that people with psychiatric labels die an average of 25 years earlier than so called normal people. Why is this? Are the drugs that lethal? Bad nutrition? Poverty? I vow to figure this out.

Peer Advocacy

Getting a new job as an MHFRA, that is Mental Health Family Resource Aid. Hope I can do a good job. It involves giving support to other people like me, and helping them with social skills, getting out into the community, etc... Also more pay which is great.
I am enjoying the Fall weather, the trees have been in full color all Autumn and it is just lately starting the rain. We all are getting together at Mom's for Thanksgiving.

Last day of August

I cant believe summer is almost over. I just entered the Mayors art show and find out tomorrow if I make it. Also got elected to board at SAFE and another position as Lane Co rep of some Committee recently. Hope I don't go bonkers but it's fun. LOL sometimes boring. Been painting alot even did Don Quixote and a windmill. Boys are good, Phil is fighting fires, my son. that is. I love the quality of light in august and the sunflowers, the smell in the air, even the field burning. I love this time of year, back to school and fall soon to come.

Passion for IT

indecent orange
dancing with bright yellow
flames
upon my canvas
at art therapy
we talk of winning the show
of learning too slow
Lily reads my tea leaves
you have money in your
future
far away now
I lean over the canvas
carefully apply
antique gold
and smile

Medium Yellow Dark

running paint
melting colors
feel like mine
grasp their time
to concentrate the point
of my intention
Sunflowers burst forth
Seedy and ripe
on my page
heavy with paint
I run too from you
Hide in the stock-still
moment
I dip my brush in
amber fire
my heart beats at the end
of my No 5 brush

Change of Plans

the paint confounds me
dripping lightly
into the white
no!
not as I had planned
just as my life
veers into
unknown territory
I have to make it beautiful
hours go by
in an instant
I work on it